26 years and I finally get it!

I call myself a Christian. I believe in Jesus Christ-I believe that he lived a sinless life and paid the ultimate price...died on the cross for my sins...so that I might have the gift of eternal life.  I grew up being taught this as a little girl...going to church, knowing the stories and for the most part everything that Christians should/shouldn't do.  I always thought of myself as a reasonable Christian...I went to church...I tried to do good in my daily life.

However, it wasn't until recently in my life that I finally realized truly what having a relationship with God the Father actually meant...and it wasn't until recently that I actually craved and wanted this relationship.  God puts specific people into your life at specific moments-sometimes you realize why him/her came into your life at that specific moment and then others you have no idea...My point being-is that God is so much greater than I could have ever expected and I am sooooooo thankful that he is a patient God and never gave up on me.  Building my life back with God as the center focus. I was in a dark place for so long that it took me forever to find my way out...blaming God for negative events happening in my life and trying to fix things and create things that I have no way of accomplishing if God is not center focus in my life...and better yet, only if he wants them to be there.  It is one thing to quote scripture and tell others that "yes God has a better plan for my life"...but actually believing this statement????

We all suffer...God allows this in our lives-we only see a speck of the whole picture...always wondering why things turn out the way they did or if we could have done something differently-would that have changed the outcome?  The point is---God is ALL KNOWING. There is not a thought, action, etc that God does not know about. He knows our true heart-oh my gosh he KNOWS our true heart!!!

I am so grateful that I love a God that even when I want nothing to do with him...he still chases after me-constantly calling my name.  Just because you go to church or act in ways Christians should act-does not mean that you have a relationship with him...I didn't.  I thought all that other stuff was good enough-always caring what people around me thought...not giving one thought on what GOD thought.

Needless to say...God finally tore down my huge wall that I had built up over several years.  This life here on earth isn't about us-its about God and who we are in Christ.  How lucky are we to have a God that WANTS us to have his kingdom...because he could have easily said "no, Ill keep all this for me" but luckily we have a God that wants a relationship with us...a God that is jealous for us.

1Peter 1:5-7

Blessed...

Finding Peace

This has been a very interesting week for me...and I have to apologize for those who actually read my blog that I have been lacking in my blogging. I have been extremely busy and not really putting first things first in my life.  School is overwhelming and it continues to be so-I am so enamored by the individuals who are in my class and are wives with kids, working full-time, and going to school full-time. I think I have it rough...I have gotten back on my devotion with Linda Dillow-Calm My Anxious Heart and have truly been amazed at what just a few days of reading her book can have on my life. Yesterday-she truly opened my eyes by stating "If we want to be women of contentment, we must choose to accept our portion, our assigned roles from God. We must make the choice to dwell on the positive aspects of our role in life.  If we don't, we'll be discontent, always wanting something different from what we've been given".
I find this very true. God is truly working in my life and continues to surprise me everyday with new things that I never thought would occur or happen...take place...or he does something completely different, but this different plan (something I never could have seen coming) is the right way. Life is too short-everyone says, but if you actually look into its meaning and realize that life as a whole-our life on this earth is very short compared to the one we will spend in heaven.  Death is inevitable. I want to look back on my life and know that I served my purpose and made a difference all for the Glory.  This is a constant challenge in everyones' life-especially Christians. I sin and fall short every single day and what do you know God picks me up and dust me off like I'm brand new.  Finding peace with my life and with my soul-that is my ultimate goal. Forgiveness. Forgiveness is key, but easily said and not done.. I am so thankful that God is bigger than any of my problems or difficulties. I have hope in me, I have hope in him, I have hope in my future! -psalms 71:14

Steady My Heart

God is so faithful... I recently had a friend text me a song that she felt she needed to share with me.  The song is Steady my Heart Acoustic version by Kari Jobe. First off-if you have never listened to this song...you need to.

Steady my Heart is what I feel God is doing every day in my life.  Yes, some days it is hard to have faith and know that what lies ahead of me is going to be so much better than the road I left behind, but that's the beauty of faith.  You don't know... God has shown me that everything happens for a reason-as cliche' as that is...its the truth.  If only it was an easy road.

I know now that I need not to worry-something bigger and better awaits me in the future.

God definitely is lover of my soul and healer of my scars.
Blessed...