26 years and I finally get it!

I call myself a Christian. I believe in Jesus Christ-I believe that he lived a sinless life and paid the ultimate price...died on the cross for my sins...so that I might have the gift of eternal life.  I grew up being taught this as a little girl...going to church, knowing the stories and for the most part everything that Christians should/shouldn't do.  I always thought of myself as a reasonable Christian...I went to church...I tried to do good in my daily life.

However, it wasn't until recently in my life that I finally realized truly what having a relationship with God the Father actually meant...and it wasn't until recently that I actually craved and wanted this relationship.  God puts specific people into your life at specific moments-sometimes you realize why him/her came into your life at that specific moment and then others you have no idea...My point being-is that God is so much greater than I could have ever expected and I am sooooooo thankful that he is a patient God and never gave up on me.  Building my life back with God as the center focus. I was in a dark place for so long that it took me forever to find my way out...blaming God for negative events happening in my life and trying to fix things and create things that I have no way of accomplishing if God is not center focus in my life...and better yet, only if he wants them to be there.  It is one thing to quote scripture and tell others that "yes God has a better plan for my life"...but actually believing this statement????

We all suffer...God allows this in our lives-we only see a speck of the whole picture...always wondering why things turn out the way they did or if we could have done something differently-would that have changed the outcome?  The point is---God is ALL KNOWING. There is not a thought, action, etc that God does not know about. He knows our true heart-oh my gosh he KNOWS our true heart!!!

I am so grateful that I love a God that even when I want nothing to do with him...he still chases after me-constantly calling my name.  Just because you go to church or act in ways Christians should act-does not mean that you have a relationship with him...I didn't.  I thought all that other stuff was good enough-always caring what people around me thought...not giving one thought on what GOD thought.

Needless to say...God finally tore down my huge wall that I had built up over several years.  This life here on earth isn't about us-its about God and who we are in Christ.  How lucky are we to have a God that WANTS us to have his kingdom...because he could have easily said "no, Ill keep all this for me" but luckily we have a God that wants a relationship with us...a God that is jealous for us.

1Peter 1:5-7

Blessed...